Johanna's Journal
by Emilie Rose
Summary: Johanna's life after escaping Fogg's Asylum was not the dream Anthony had imagined. This is her story.


**Hey everyone! This story was not written by me, but by my father. You may remember him as the author of "Full Circle." If you don't know this story, please come to my profile and check it out!**

**My father owns nothing…except me.**

I was already half mad when Anthony came to rescue me. If one is not insane when they are put into that crazy house, they surely will be in short time. The Judge, my benefactor, my guardian, no, my jailer, my killer, had put me there for my own good. To see the error of my ways. The error of not succumbing to him body and soul. I was so happy all that day knowing I was finally going to be free from him. Anthony had promised to come and get me and away we would go, far from London, far from Turpin and this house, which had become my cage. But the Judge intercepted me before our plan had taken place. So in his rage for me not wanting to be his private possession, he sent me to Fogg's house of madness. I can't begin to describe the horrors that hell contained. The noise of the screaming went on day and night to no end. The stench was so bad I thought my nose would surely bleed from its intensity. The cruelty with which we were treated was torturous. I thought, no, I prayed that I would die there in that filth. When Anthony came in with the proprietor I didn't recognize him at first. He pushed Fogg aside and drew a gun. He called to me several times, but still I was in a daze. When I finally saw who he was I still didn't believe my eyes. I had been there only a few days but I quickly lost all reason and sanity. I thought this must be a delusion of my failing mind. He finally grabbed me by the arm and pulled me from my prison. It was then that I realized this was indeed happening and we ran from the asylum as the sounds of my fellow inmates descending on Fogg rang though the halls.

We ran through the streets of London, I following blindly-to where, I did not know. We finally entered the shop on Fleet Street. No one was there. Anthony told me to wait for him there as he would go and find us a carriage to take us away to our new life. He spoke of how happy we would be, how our troubles would never find us again. I guess he could see I was still confused, still in disbelief. He tried to calm my nerves, speaking of the joys that awaited us. Soon I settled down and he left to find our passage.

The room was bare as I looked around my new found sanctuary. I noticed it to be a barber shop, though its furnishings were quite sparse. My eye settled on a silver frame. The photo was of a family. Man, woman and child. They all seemed so happy in their love for each other. Many, many nights I lay in bed dreaming of what it would be to have such a family. To have parents who would love me and care for me and who I would feel safe in their arms, in their love. Turpin kept me prisoner in that house. I had fine clothes, was fed well, and was given a good education, but I had few companions. There were only my tutors, our housekeeper, Alice, and the Judge. The love he said he had for me made me feel uneasy and ashamed. Though I had known no other family, I could sense this relationship to be unholy, unclean. I stared at the photo sensing some familiarity in it. Then I realized, in my fantasies of the family I dreamed of, this is how I had pictured the mother and father. But it couldn't be. I had just gone through so much, my mind was playing tricks on me.

Then I heard someone running up the stairs calling for the Beadle. I hid in a chest by the door and held my breath. Peeking from the crack, I noticed a woman. She was ragged and wild; I thought she might have been one of the inmates that followed me from the asylum. Then another entered. This time it was a man. I hid down not to be seen. I could hear them speaking. "Who are you?" he asked, "what are you doing here?" She sounded incoherent, and asked in return "Don't I know you mister?"

I heard someone else climbing the stairs and the man said, "The Judge!" After that there was a weird gurgling sound and some scuffling noises. Then the door opened and I heard the last voice I expected to hear. "Is she here?" it said. I heard nothing for awhile, I was inside my mind, confused once more. It sounded so like Turpin and the man had said the judge. I was too frightened to move, to even think. Finally, I regained my wits and enough courage to lift the lid and peek out. I couldn't believe my eyes. There, sitting in the chair, was the very man I was running away from. And to make the scene more absurd, he was relaxing having a shave! The next thing I saw, his neck exploded in a spray of red. My mind froze. What had happened? The man stabbed at Turpin's neck. The judge screamed in shock and pain, but no sound came out. Satisfied, he stopped. His face covered in blood as he grinned down at his victim, so horrifying I had to look away. I saw the razor in his hand dripping with blood. I stared at that hand for what seemed to be an hour, but it was only a few seconds. When I looked up from his hand, his eyes were staring into mine. He threw open the chest and flung me into the chair. He was speaking to me but I could not make out what he was saying. I knew it would be seconds before he opened my throat in the same manner I had just seen. Then the next thing I knew, he ran out the door! Well, if I wasn't sure of my sanity up till now, I knew I had finally lost my mind. How much can one endure before finally cracking? The visions I just saw were so vivid in my mind, yet the man was gone, the judge was gone. I didn't know what to do, where to go. Why hadn't Anthony come back for me? Was he ever really here? I snapped out of it when I thought I heard voices coming from somewhere I couldn't tell. Now I knew I'd gone mad. First I imagined visions so real and now I heard voices. I stepped back and almost fell into an open trap in the floor. I got down and looked into the abyss. It was there the voices were coming from. As I stared down, again I could not believe my eyes. I begged the Lord to help me! For there, on the floor below, was the Judge covered in blood. But that's not all. Next to him lay the Beadle and the woman who first came in to the shop. Both also with their throats cut! Then the madness finally took over my mind. For I saw the man who had the razor and another woman dancing. He was spinning her round and round and then he finished his dance by throwing her into a flaming oven. She screamed and I screamed and then all went black.

I awoke to find myself bound hand and foot. Still in the room I thought to be my new sanctuary, it was now the next house of horror I had to endure. The room was full of constables all searching about and talking excitedly. One of them saw I was awake and called out for the captain. A short fat man with a filthy mustache came over to me. "Well missy, you've had quite a day" he said, "Seems you done in everyone in sight." What! What could he mean? Did he believe it was me who had committed this carnage! "No, No" I screamed, "it wasn't me, not me!" I tried to explain how I hid in the chest when the woman came in and all that had followed. I tried to tell him I had nothing to do with this. "Just a bystander, ay" he said, "then explain the blood." He gestured at me and when I looked down I could see my clothes, my hands were soaked with blood! When I passed out I must have fallen into the blood shed by the victims. He laughed, "Quick thinking my lovely, but it won't do. No one else was about when we got here but you. No one else alive that is." I later found out the boy who worked in the pie shop below had come running up from the basement right into a patrolling officer. He told him what he had just found. The officer had whistled for help, run down to find the bodies and then up to the hole he'd seen above his head. That's where he found me, unconscious and covered in blood. "Take her away," the captain shouted. It took several officers to carry me away, for I was screaming and fighting them with all the strength I could muster. "Hold on tight" I heard one say, "she has the strength of a mad woman".

I was locked in a cell below the court house. It was an infamous prison, feared by all. I was stripped bare, for my own protection they said. "Don't want you going and hanging yourself with your own clothes before we gets the chance to stretch that pretty neck of yourn." I saw no one for weeks but my jailers. They would come rarely with bread and water. More often they would come to gawk and do to me unspeakable things I could never have imagined. At first I fought, fought them with all I had. But as the days went on I grew weaker and finally escaped into a trance-like state. Finally, one day the fat nasty captain I met in the shop came. I thought he would have some answers for me. Was there going to be a trial, did they find who had done these hideous crimes? Most of all, what about Anthony? I had asked every chance I got about my sweet Anthony, but no one would give me any information. I knew he would be trying to see me, trying to help prove my innocence. For he knew I was not mad. He knew I was innocent. Poor Anthony, I thought, he believed me to be innocent in many ways. Innocent and pure, and his true love. I almost wished to never see him again. I didn't want him to know what had become of me. The treatment I received in this dungeon had made me anything but pure and innocent. The thoughts I had of revenge on my cruel jailers could only be thoughts of someone quite insane. Yes, I knew it was true. I no longer was the girl that Anthony had fallen in love with. No longer the girl the Judge had locked away in the asylum. I now was as mad as those poor creatures I was imprisoned with at Fogg's.

"You're to clean yourself, dress and be ready to go tomorrow morning." The captain said, "I'll be back then to escort you to see Judge Hugo" Then he turned and left without another word. In the morning I was brought bread and water for my meal along with a bar of soap. I ate the meager fare saving just enough water to wash myself. Then the guard came with a smock for me to put on. It was too big, but clean. I was happy to have anything with which to cover myself. I had been so exposed and vulnerable for so long. I'd been at the mercy of my captors, who took every opportunity to show me none. The guard on duty led me down the corridors to where I was to wait for the captain. "We'll be missing you, my lovely", he said, "be sure and come back if you get lonely". He started to grope me, but stopped when he heard the captain coming. I never thought I be glad to see the captain, just by looking at him one could tell he was an evil man, but to be away from here I would go with the devil himself. He said not a word to me and I in return did the same. I knew it was no use; he would give me no answers.

We entered the court house and I was led to where the judges' chambers were. We stopped at a door with a plaque that read, Stephen Hugo - Magistrate. The captain knocked and we were summoned in. The judge was looking out his window, then turned and gestured me to a chair in front of his desk. He told the captain to leave and then sat facing me. He offered me some tea and biscuits, which I gladly accepted, I was so hungry. He then began to explain events to me so astonishing, I forgot my hunger and listened to his narrative in shock. He explained they had discovered though the judge's papers the complete story of my mother and of my father's false imprisonment. Furthermore, the Judge's will had left me his only benefactor. All his assets were to go to me and I now was an extremely wealthy woman! My mind spun. A captive ward, an asylum inmate, a murder suspect, an abused prisoner and now a wealthy woman of London! My life had changed so drastically in so short a time, I could not fathom the situation. To be able to start a new life with my Anthony. To finally have the means to be free and do as we wished. To be able to find and reunite with the mother and father I have longed for! I begged the judge to tell all the information he had on my parents. To tell if he knew if my Anthony had been coming and trying to prove my innocence and where I might find him. I was so ecstatic, so elated I thought I'd fly out of the chair. It was short lived. Once again my mind was turned inside out by the situation before me. My mother was dead! My father was dead! She was the woman with her throat cut and by my father's hand! He was the madman who murdered Turpin, the Beadle, the dancing woman and so many, many others. He told me the whole story they discovered about the barber and the pie shop. It was too much for me, and as before, all went black.

When I woke, the judge was there along with the captain and a matron. Remembering what had just occurred, I buried my head in my hands and wept. "Take her to her home and have her return to me tomorrow," the judge told them, "we'll finish this affair then." The matron helped support me as we both followed the captain out of the court house. I was helped into a waiting carriage and taken back to Turpin's house. The matron helped me to my room and I fell onto my bed and slept.

It was a restless sleep. I kept waking from horrible dreams, only to realize they were in fact, truth. In the morning I was awoken by Alice, our maid. She had brought me a breakfast of eggs and ham. Though I had nothing but bread and water for so long, I found I had no appetite at all. She tried to encourage me to eat. Said how sorry she was for all that had happened to me, but now I must regain my strength and carry on. It was the first kindness I had for so long, I hugged her tightly and she held on to me as I wept till I could weep no more. She helped me wash and get dressed. I had been naked and dirty for so long, it felt odd to be in my fine clothes once again. Alice explained how all of London was talking about the murders. So many people had gone missing and now the mystery was clear. I asked if she knew of Anthony and she went pale. She said she knew nothing, but the look on her face told me differently. I begged her to tell me what she knew and finally she relented. When she finished I felt as if she had plunged a dagger in my heart. Anthony had been accused as an accessory to murder! The court had charged him responsible for the death of Fogg. For leaving Fogg in the cell to be beaten and clawed to death by the inmates. He was to be hanged this very morning!

I called for a carriage and went directly to the court house. I was stopped at the door and refused entrance. I pleaded with the guard to let me in. I had to explain how I was falsely committed and how Anthony had only tried to save me. I had to tell someone in charge to stop this injustice! How the inmates attacked Fogg because of the cruelties he inflicted on them. How Anthony had no knowledge that would happen and was only being noble towards me. The guard would hear nothing of this, but hearing the riot I was making, out came the captain. He saw it was me and told the guard to let me through. I begged him to use his authority to help me explain Anthony's position. He told me he could not, all had been decided. Furthermore, he believed Anthony guilty and that if it was up to him, I too would be charged as an accomplice! Then he smiled with that nasty mustache of his and said he would take me to see Anthony if I wished. I didn't trust him, his grin looked so evil. But I knew I had to try and see Anthony, if only for one last time. I followed him down to the prison, knowing he could do with me anything he wanted. We stopped at in a passage way leading to an open court yard before descending the stairs where the cells were kept. He glared at me and backed me up against the wall. "Don't you think you should thank me first for taking you to see your sailor boy?" he said, running his hands over my dress, his greasy face close to mine. I pushed him away hard and he tripped and fell. "Fine!" he shouted, "be that way, go ,go to him, you'll find him in the courtyard." I ran from out of the dark passage and into the courtyard. At first I was blinded, but then my eyes adjusted to the light and I wished I had remained blind. For there in the middle of the court yard was the scaffold, and my Anthony swinging by his neck.

I screamed so hard and long, with such despair, I could feel my soul leaving my body. When the sound of my scream stopped ringing in my ears, I could see him. Him, the captain, laughing. Oh he thought this was so very funny. That's when I finally snapped! I turned on him, clawing at his face. I kicked him where no man wishes to be kicked and down he went. Screaming like a mad woman, I pounced on him, punching his face, punching that nasty mustache. The guards, hearing the commotion, rushed in and pulled me off the crumpled man. The captain rose, his face all bloody and swollen. "Tie her to the scaffold," he shouted. They tied my hands above my head to one of the beams of the scaffold. My face was level with and looking at a pair of boots still swaying from above. "Stand aside," I heard the captain scream, "I'll teach her to attack me!" He picked up a piece of rope lying on the ground and began to whip me. I yelled out but not as the captain had expected. With each lash I yelled out with laughter. I laughed the laugh of the insane, for I truly had gone mad. I laughed till my newfound savior, darkness, came once again.

I found myself once more in a cell below the court house. This time even the guards didn't come to visit me. It seemed word had gotten out I might be unstable and best to avoid. I had only been there a day, when the cell was opened and I was rushed by the guards. They knocked me down and bound my hands behind my back. "Now take it easy ya loony," one guard said, "we're only taking ya to sees the judge. You be nice and he might let ya go". I walked calmly up to the judges' chambers, a guard on each arm. When we got in front of Judge Hugo's door, the captain was waiting for us. His face had seen better days, even his mustache was swollen! He knocked and we were summoned in. "Untie her you fools!" the judge demanded. "Sir, she's quite violent, I can assure you" replied the captain. The judge snapped back, "She reacted as anyone would after such a cruel trick, you got what you deserved. Just pray she doesn't charge you with assault. Now leave us, all of you!" The guards untied my hands and they all left. The judge told me to sit. He apologized for all that happened. Said he felt sorry for me and that he would use his authority to set things right. Of course, the law knew I had nothing to do with the events at the barber shop. But, there still were some issues to resolve. He would see to it, there would be no charges of my involvement with the death of Fogg, or the assault on the captain. Though he fully understood what state of mind I must have been in at the time, still the captain was an authority of the law. Penalty for his assault could mean the gallows. Also, there was still the fact that I was an escaped inmate of the asylum. Legally committed and subject to return. "All this could get settled in your favor with a few strokes of my pen," he said. "Of course, I wouldn't want to be too hasty and make a miscarriage of justice because of my kindness." He continued, "Perhaps, if you where to prove to me you were a sane, reasonable woman. Not prone to violence as I've been led to believe. A woman who's suited for her position in society. One who knows how to show her appreciation for all I am about to do for her." He took my hand and I stood up to face him. Then he leaned in close and whispered in my ear, "So my dear, are you indeed grateful for your freedom and ready to take your rightful place in society?" It did not matter to me anymore. I felt nothing. My body was dead. Since seeing Anthony, my heart was dead. The only thing I felt was the raging thoughts in my mind I had for revenge. Suffice to say, I left the judge's chamber two hours later, a free woman. As I left the court house, I vowed I would have my revenge on all, and never be a victim again!

I returned to Turpin's house, no, my house. Alice wanted to help me clean and change but I sent her away. I wanted to be alone. I had to think, to plot my revenge. This thought of revenge was all consuming to me. But how? How to make them pay for what they did to me and my Anthony. Alice kept coming to my door asking if I needed anything. Once, entering with some hot tea, I scolded her for her persistent interfering and told her to leave me be. She saw the marks on my back left by the captain's whipping. She wet a cloth in the basin and tried to clean them. I stood and slapped her face and ordered her out. She ran from the room crying. I felt badly, for she was only trying to show kindness. It had been so long since anyone had shown me true kindness and I bit back like a wild dog. I would make it up to her. She had always been good to me since I was a little girl. She herself only a few years older then me. The Judge took her from the workhouse to be our housekeeper soon after I came to be his ward. Knowing I wronged Alice and not able to think anymore, I lay down on the bed and slept.

I slept hard for several hours. I awoke feeling refreshed and eager to begin planning my revenge. I rang for Alice. She entered the room timidly, looking fearful of what I might do. I must admit I enjoyed being thought of that way. I told her I was hungry and to bring some food to my room. When she returned I gave her a note to take to Turpin's lawyer summing him to the house. By the time I had finished eating and dressing, I had formed the beginning of my plan. Alice knocked and said the lawyer was waiting downstairs. "Tell him to wait in the jud…, my office."

I entered my office and he stood and greeted me. Gerard Mc Gillian had worked for Turpin as long as I could remember. He had a reputation as a good lawyer throughout London. He would always show me kindness when we met. We sat down together and he began by telling me how sorry he was for all my misfortunes. He said he would be pleased to help in any way he could. He apologized for anything he himself might have done to wrong me. He said Turpin would often ask him to do things he was uncomfortable doing, but would threaten him with disbarment or even prison. He explained to me all of Turpin's assets and indeed, I was a wealthy woman. I told him to liquidate everything and set up an account in the Bank of Edinburgh in my name. I told him to also sell the house here in London and all its contents. I would be leaving for Scotland in a few weeks time. He agreed to all, wished me luck and left.

I followed him out and set off to the court house. I requested to see Judge Hugo. He welcomed me into his chamber, his arm around me, saying how pleased he was to see me. "I want you to do me a favor," I said as I wiggled away from him.

"Anything, my dear," he replied. I told him I wanted him to write an order for the captain to be removed from the force. He protested and I told him how grateful I would be for his help in this matter. We settle on a demotion in rank, an insult and a hardship he assured me. It was enough for my goal. I told him he needed to write the order now, here in front of me. He said he would, but first he wanted to see just how grateful I was.

"No, not here," I said. "I'll come to your home tonight. I promise you'll be surprised at my appreciation". He seemed pleased with this and sat at his desk and wrote the order. "Till tonight then," I said, quickly leaving before he had a chance to make any advance on me.

As dusk came I readied myself by dressing in some old garments I borrowed from Alice. I dirtied them up a bit and did the same to my face and hands. Then I covered my head and set off for the pub I heard the captain spent his nights in. I found him there half drunk. I entered loudly for all to see and hear. "Where's the captain? I gots a message for him." He called me over and I was happy to see he did not recognize me. I told him the judge wanted to see him at once. Told him he said he'd give me a pound if I brought him back. He complained loudly as I hoped. Said it wasn't fair to be summoned this way, he was off duty, and cursed in anger as we left the pub.

We walked together up to the judge's house and I knocked on the door. The judge opened the door smiling, but then was surprised to see to captain there, thinking it was to be me. "What the hell do you want at this hour?" he demanded. Before the captain had a chance to answer, I struck him hard on back of his head with a piece of pipe I had hidden under my shawl. He fell into the house, almost knocking the judge over. I quickly entered and closed the door. Then I grabbed the captain's gun and aimed it at the judge. "What the hell is going on here!" he screamed.

I uncovered my head. "Just here to show my appreciation, my lord."

"You" he said in disbelief, "What? Have you gone mad?"

"Oh yes, sir" I replied. "Quite mad. Yet what can you expect, knowing my father was a mass murderer and my mother a crazy woman walking the streets of London." "Now let me see, I heard a gut shot is the most painful and quite fatal. I think that should show you how grateful I am for all you've done for me." He just looked at me in shock, not believing what was happening. "I told you you'd be surprised at my appreciation" I said, as I walked up close to his face and fired the gun into his stomach. He fell to the floor in agony. The sound of his pain and plea for help was music to my ears. As he was writhing on the floor, I set about my business. I poured some liquor he had into the captain's mouth, spilling it down the front of his clothes. When I finished he was still unconscious and stinking of whisky. I watched happily as Hugo moaned his last and then lay still. "Help! Murder!" I screamed as I ran from the house. "Murder, murder I say, help!" By the time I was halfway down the street, I could here a constable's whistle blowing and several people running towards Judge Hugo's house.

I knew just what the captain would be going through. He'd awake handcuffed and accused of murder. He'd plead and beg to be let go. Say he had nothing to do with it, didn't know how it happened. It's a terrible feeling. Maddening, to say the least. Justice was swift. Life is cheap in these parts, but a judge is an important man. The evidence was clear. Everyone in the pub heard the captain angry and drunk as he left to go see Hugo. He must have argued with the judge, shot him and then fallen over backwards and knocked himself out. That would explain the bad bruise on the back of his head. Of course, the final nail in his coffin was the letter they found on the judge's desk. It was written just that day, demoting him in rank and pay. The judge must have told the captain of his action against him and in his drunken anger, he shot him. It was a week to the day of the judge's murder the captain was to be hanged. I dressed the same way I had on that night and headed for the gallows. There was a large crowd waiting to see the spectacle. Not every day the captain of the guard is hanged. I pushed my way to the front. The captain was brought out and the crowd cheered. He protested his innocence as the rope was placed around his neck. The crowd fell silent. Just then I called out in the voice I used in the pub that night, "Where's the captain? I gots a message for him". The captain looked down at me and I removed the shawl covering my head. The recognition of who I was and what I had done showed in his eyes just a few seconds before the trap beneath his feet opened.

I returned home as giddy as a bride. I'd never been this happy or satisfied. Insanity does have its benefits. I wondered if my father felt this way after his deeds. But my work wasn't done yet. I went up to my room and tried to plan my next step. The judge and the captain had paid for what they did. Now it was time for the prison guards. The cruelty and abuses they showed me had the most effect in shaping my new personality. I spent weeks at their hands and they took every chance they could to torture and violate me. There were four. They would work two at a time. Working twelve hour shifts, seven days a week. I taxed my brain for the next few days and could not come up with a good enough plan. Then one morning Alice told me I had a delivery from the court house. I went down to find a large trunk sitting in the foyer. I had the men who brought it carry it into my office. I told Alice to give them something from the kitchen and to leave me till I called her. It seemed the investigation into my father's affair was over and being there was no one else, they sent the contents of the two shops to me. I opened the chest to find very little. The woman from the bake shop had only a few ragged clothes and her kitchen supplies. Knowing what she cooked with them, I couldn't imagine anyone wanting such things. Then there were my father's clothes. They were in better condition than the woman's and I thought I'd ask the deliverers if they wanted them before they left. Once again as before, my eye was caught by a silver picture frame. It was the one I had seen of the family that day in the barber shop. I looked at it with new eyes. Could that happy baby really have been me? And how in love the man and woman looked! This I knew I would always treasure. Then I notice something smeared on the glass of the frame. I realized it was dried blood, splattered when those murders happened in that room. I went to wipe it off, then stopped. I would keep the picture to remind me of what could have been, but leave the frame to show what really was. I couldn't forget who I was or who I came from and what I'd become. I checked the chest one last time and saw something almost hidden in the dark of its corner. It was a beautiful wood and leather case. I almost dropped it when I opened it and realized what I was holding in my hands. It was my father's set of razors! At first I just stared at them, thinking how grotesque an implement of death they were. But, as I looked, I could see they were made of the finest silver and glistened as jewels. I took one out and opened it. It reflected the light off its polished blade. I opened all of them and set them on the desk. I got a strange feeling as I looked at them. I felt they belonged to me, were meant for me. I thought of them not as implements of death, but as instruments of justice. This was the answer I was searching for. I replaced the razors and took the case and the frame up to my room. I called Alice and told her to tell the men they could do what they wanted with the chest and its contents, just take it away. Then I lay down on the bed and began to formalize my plan.

The next morning I summoned the lawyer Mc Gillian once more. We met in my office and he told me he had started the process of transferring the Judge's- my- assets into the Bank of Edinburgh. It would take some time, of course, but I would be able to take enough sums with me to hold me over till all was finalized. He had arranged for someone to come and sell the house and contents as soon as I was ready. I told him I would be leaving London as soon as he could arrange passage for me and Alice. I wanted to go as soon as possible, but Alice had some personal matters to attend to. He was to arrange for her passage two days after mine. I would entrust him with the power to work in my behalf on any financial matters that needed to be completed here in London. As I said before, I knew him to be an honest and reliable attorney. He thanked me for my confidence, and said he should be able to attain passage for me in two days. I thanked him and said goodbye for the last time. I never saw him again, though he did all he said he would and all in my best interest.

I went to the kitchen and told Alice to make us both a cup of tea, for I had some things to talk to her about. She was still a little unsure of me. Though there had been no other incident since I slapped her, she could tell I was quite a different person from the one she'd known these many years. We sat at the kitchen table and I started by apologizing for the slap. I told her I was leaving London, England even. I wanted to go from where I had such bad memories. I was going to go to Scotland and she was going to go with me. "Oh thank you, miss," she said, "I'd not know where to go. I've worked here as long as I can remember." She had no family and her life was a hard one taking care of the house, the judge and me. I told her we had just days to pack and get ready. She was to pack light, for the trip would be long and hard and when we got to Edinburgh we would both buy all we needed. We would start with everything new for our new life. We both would share in the windfall of wealth that had come my way. I've never seen her so happy. She went about preparing everything for our journey and was ready by the time the carriage came for us in two days time. That morning I told her she would be traveling alone. She was frightened to make such a trip by herself, but I assured her she would be fine. I told her how we now would be two women on our own in a new country. We would be doing many things for the first time and would have to learn to be strong, independent women. I told her I had some business to take care of and would follow her in a few day's time. She begged me to let her wait and go with me. I told her it had to be this way and there was more she must do. She was to dress in my clothes and to pretend to be me. When she got to Edinburgh she was to go to the Edinburgh Hotel and register under my name. She must do as I say and not question my motives. After much protesting she saw I would not relent nor give her any reason for this course. The carriage came and she, Johanna, got on with her baggage and set off. I needed people to believe Johanna Barker had left London. This way there would be no connecting me to the events that were about to happen. It was thought that I, Alice, stayed behind for personal reasons and would follow Johanna in a couple of days.

I waited in the house so no one would see me or who they thought should be Alice. On the second evening I dressed more provocatively and applied more make up than I or Alice would. Then I set off for the court house and the prison. I approached the guard and asked about a man called Howard Hare. I found out he had been arrested for beating one of the local prostitutes to death. It was a small local jail and he was the only prisoner. I told the guard I was his girlfriend and wanted to be sure he was treated well. It was known the guards would give prisoners special treatment for the favors of the prisoners' lady friends. He seemed to understand my reason for being there and was happy to oblige.

I followed him down to where the cells were. As we walked down the stairs, the memories of what happened to me in this dungeon raged in my head. Looking at the guard's back as I followed him and remembering his sins against me, took all my control not kick him down the steps. There was no guarantee he would break his neck or know who it was who brought his judgment to him. I steadied myself to follow the plan I had formed. He took me to an empty cell, opened the door and said, "After you my dear." I entered and said "Don't you know me sir?" "Know you? Where would I know you from?", he questioned. "I enjoyed the hospitality of this establishment for several weeks recently, look closer, you must remember the time we spent together", I told him, "I'll never forget." He stared into my face and then said "Why, it's the judge's ward!" I smiled, pleased he remembered and then took my hand from behind my back and swiped it across his neck. I was shocked at how much blood spurted from his wound. He had not noticed me removing something from my pocket as we entered. It was one of my father's old friends I had found in that beautiful wood and leather case.

He fell to the ground and we were both cover in his blood. "Help, someone!" I called out. The other guard on duty come running down the corridor. I could see he was disoriented. He must have been sleeping when he heard me call out. I was laying face down when he got to the cell. He saw his fellow officer lying in the cell and went to him first. "Oh, my god!", he screamed, " what happened?" Then he turned to me. I did not move till he turned me over. "He got what he deserved", I said. I had wiped the blood and make up off my face and he recognized me. "Johanna Barker", he said in disbelief. "Yes, it's I and now it is your turn". I swung the razor up to meet his throat and he fell backwards.

It was close to eight, the next shift would be coming. As I hoped, they did not arrive together. The first guard came down to the cells not seeing anyone outside. "Wake up you loads", he called, "are you both asleep or drunk?" As he turned the corner he bumped into me waiting for him. Seeing a woman, he was not alarmed, "Hey, what's this, a party?" "Yes, you might say it's a reunion," I replied, "Remember me?" I said, as I opened his neck. His eyes looked into mine and I was glad to see his look of fear and recognition.

I put on one of the coats hanging on a hook and went to wait in the guard house. I kept my head down buried in the coat as the last guard walked up. "Sorry I'm late, he said, "Where is everybody?" "Dead", said raising my head. "Who the hell are you!" he yelled. "Your old charge", I said, "and one who you have wronged!" He went for his gun and I slashed at his hand cutting off two of his fingers. He screamed out and looked in amassment at the bloody appendages on the ground. He looked up at me in a daze, confused at what was happening. I didn't want to finish with him not knowing, so I pushed him hard backwards and he fell to the ground. I dropped down on him and straddled his chest and said, "It's me Johanna Barker, only this time I'm on top of you" Then I grabbed him by the hair and pulled his head back. When my silvery friend had finished its work, there sprayed a fountain of red. Done. It was a hard nights work, but all of my offenders had paid. Just one loose end to tie. I went to the cell of Julian Hare. With the keys from one of the guards I opened his door. Covered in the guards blood I said, "Help me, please! There's a madman on the loose." He pushed me aside and ran to save himself. I knew he would, knew he was a coward. He not only beat a woman to death, but she was also a cripple. Only a coward lowlife would commit such an act. I had no pity for what they would do to him when he was caught. With him on the run, there would be no question as to who had massacred the guards. I washed my face and covered myself in another coat I found on a hook. I made my way home unnoticed and burned my bloody clothes and the coat in the fireplace.

The next morning when the carriage came for me, for Alice, I was ready. There was lots of commotion about and I asked the driver if he knew anything. "Seems a prisoner escaped from his cell and cut the throats of all the guards." he said, "Don't know what's happening around here, what with all these murders of late. You should be glad to be leaving miss, that's all I can say". I sat back and enjoyed the ride out of London.

I found Alice registered at the Edinburgh Hotel in a room under my name. We spent the next few weeks there until I finally found a nice inn for sale just outside of town. It was quiet; we raised a few sheep and ran a pub, mostly for the locals. Occasionally a traveler would stop on their way in or out of Edinburgh. They wouldn't stay long. Usually just wanted a meal and a room for the night. Once in a while, after the pub closed, a gent might want a little more from Alice or me. I'd send Alice to her room on these occasions, tell her I'd take care of it. The next morning I'd send her off to town for something or other. By the time she got back, the pub would be open.

On those nights, I'd always have some nice meat pies. People seemed to really enjoy when I made them. They'd asked what made them taste so good, so different. I'd just smile and say, ". It's an old secret family recipe."

The End

**Please review! My father would appreciate praise or constructive criticism.**


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